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The EjaculatAR-15 RAW Handguard Listing
The BRAND NEW EjaculatAR-15 2.0 Model: (We've Raised The Bar of Extremeness Yet Again) (ENJOY)
https://www.mountainsideoutfitters.com/products/sgt-stitches-armory-ejaculatar-15_2-0-ejaculatar-15_2-0-4374
The Original EjaculatAR-15 1.0 Version:
https://www.mountainsideoutfitters.com/products/sgt-stitches-armory-ejaculatar-15_1-0-ejaculatar-15_1-0-4374
“Because your rifle should finish what it starts.”
Are you tired of your AR looking like it’s never seen action? Ready to offend the range officer and confuse the local Fudds into early retirement? Introducing the EjaculatAR-15, the world’s first handguard that lets everyone know your rifle doesn’t just shoot — it erupts.
Machined from virgin aerospace-grade aluminum (which we violently violated with a CNC machine), this one-of-a-kind rail system screams "tactical discharge" from every inch of its beautifully lasered carnage. With a name carved straight out of the dark recesses of internet degeneracy, EjaculatAR-15 handguards blast through mediocrity like it’s been edged for weeks.
💦 Sculpted jizz vents on each end — for improved aerodynamics and emotional release.
🔫 Aggressively cut lettering so sharp it’s emotionally abusive.
🧠 Design concept dreamt up by a drunken demon and a rejected adult cartoonist.
💀 Guaranteed to offend someone at your local gun shop or your money back (not really).
This isn’t a handguard — it’s a statement, and that statement is:
“I didn’t come here to aim. I came here to unload.”
Shipping, Layaway & Financing available!
We GUARANTEE THE BEST PRICES in the country on everything we sell.
We offer WHOLESALE PRICING for dealers!
We can CUSTOM BUILD anything, for anything, with anything. ANYTHING.
Please call or text us with any questions, or if you prefer to order over the phone, or for anything you cannot find on our website. (417) 429-3140
We want your package to be WILDLY UNIQUE!
Unless we happen to still have the originally pictured package in stock, which we rarely do, we just custom build your order in-house as soon as you place it.
We always change something about every package so that no two are ever exactly the same, ensuring that your hand-made package is truly one of a kind.
This may simply be a rearrangement of what is in it or may include similarly themed but different patches. Or whatever else our artists believe would look great while giving it a similar but original design.
If there are any specific details about your package that you do or don’t want changed, please contact us to let us know within an hour of placing your order. (417) 429-3140
Although we almost always have everything needed on hand to build your order, if not and we have to order anything to complete your order, we will call you so that you know when to expect your build to ship, or we can often make a quick and comparable substitution with something we have in stock if you prefer.
Call, Text or Email to give us your texting #, your email address & your mailing address so that we can send you a FREE copy of our “Wildly Unique Guns” COFFEE TABLE BOOK & keep you updated with our monthly newsletter email! (417) 429-3140 or [email protected]
Check out a 360⁰ view of Mountainside from many different vantage points! Just click drag your finger or click & drag your mouse left or right to look around. Pinch to zoom in or out. Click on the gun in the orange circle to move to that spot! Start here: https://app.cloudpano.com/tours/bZ-K6bseu
Our Trucker/RV friendly property is right on Route 60 @ Highway U, 14 miles east of Springfield, MO.
The American dream is still alive & well! You can follow ours on social media! We get banned & deleted a lot, so follow all our pages so we don't lose touch.
WE SHIP EVERYWHERE. If it is not legal in your state, we cannot sell it to you. Shipped guns must be sent to your local FFL (Gun or Pawn Shop) for you to pick up. It is much easier & simpler than most think. We will walk you through it.
Effective 03-27-25
LAYAWAY IS AVAILABLE ON EVERYTHING WE SELL, except for preowned & sale items.
ONLY $50 DOWN!
$25 MINIMUM PAYMENT PER MONTH to stay in touch.
YOUR FIRST 90 DAYS ARE FREE!
AFTER 90 DAYS A $50 FEE WILL BE ADDED for your account setup, processing, maintenance & storage.
ALL LAYAWAY ACCOUNTS MUST BE PAID IN FULL WITHIN 12 MONTHS.
A $10 LATE FEE will be added to your balance whenever a gap between payments exceeds one calendar month.
Payments can be made over the phone with a card but cash in person is appreciated.
Before you reach 75% paid, you may change your layaway, or use the money you’ve paid, less fees, as store credit, for a $10 change of order fee.
If our pricing or availability on your order has changed before you get to 75% to lock your order in, the $10 fee will be waived if you choose to change your order.
Once your account is 75% paid, we will then lock in, order, build, paint or set aside your purchase as needed so it’s ready for you when you are ready to pay it off & pick it up or have it shipped.
Please call to check pickup availability after reaching your 75% as it may take us up to 2 weeks to get everything ordered in to complete your order.
Any account that goes unpaid for 90 days will be closed & all monies paid are forfeited.
Any violation of our terms will result in the forfeiture of all monies paid.
Mountainside Outfitters reserves the right to modify our layaway policy at any time.
$0 DOWN FINANCING is available here: MountainsideOutfitters.com/financing
Are you 18 years of age or older?